Donald Trump, Medical Marijuana and Throwing a Big Fat Republican Party

What is the matter with us?  Have we taken the level of political correctness, injury to our feelings and ability to be offended by anyone who looks different or thinks differently than ourselves, way too far?

Having a conversation with my daughter this morning, she informed me that Donald Trump, candidate for president, had assaulted a protestor and that anyone who votes for him promotes violence.  I asked her where and when.  She couldn’t provide the details, but because she read it online, she took it as fact and this information, possibly misinformation, has helped shape her opinion. 

Rewind a few days and this same intelligent daughter informed me that the Republican Party is one of intolerance, hatred and racism.  Now, this was an arrow through my very political soul.  I am a Republican.  I am a proud Republican.  I don’t believe that I am a terrible person consumed by hate, racism or intolerance.  The discussion about passing judgment on an entire group of people based on their voting preference will come later, when we have time to talk, not just chat over the sound of a blow dryer.

In the meantime here is what I do believe, because if you will hate me for my party affiliation, you might as well be clear on my beliefs:

• I believe that there are more people like me, in both parties, who believe in the Republic and the rights of the individuals to live and prosper with the freedoms that our founding Fathers spoke of during the formation of our nation.

• I believe that our family knows best how to manage our money and that we are all responsible for our own choices, decisions and repercussions of these decisions.  I do not believe that the government or my neighbors should be burdened with the financial responsibility of my personal choices.

• I believe that we as a human race and as a culture of hard working people, should offer assistance to those who need it, but never make that assistance a way of life.
  
• I believe that love comes in all forms.  I believe that it is not a choice that we make of who we love, but is the human nature of love and attraction.  I also believe that others, who do not agree with me on this issue, have the right to disagree.  It is my belief that these people are not homophobic, just living life by their beliefs and opinions.  I also believe that we should be able to live our beliefs without fear of reprisal from those who would not agree.

• I believe that issues that make us human should never have been politicized.  Life is life, but the person who ultimately must make the choice should have the freedom to do so without being fearful of being considered a murderer.  There are dark times and moments that many of us will never have the misfortune to experience, those who are in those moments deserve the same care as those who would deny them.

I believe that I am a good Republican.  I recognize that the party is evolving, the same as the Democratic Party has evolved; I challenge you to do your research.  Before you paint all Republicans as elite racists, it might help to know that the Republican Party was born out of a need to address human rights issues.  These same fundamental beliefs are what hold me to the party today,  

If you go to this link: http://www.ushistory.org/gop/origins.htm you will find the following, plus much more.

Trying times spawn new forces. The Missouri Compromise of 1820 divided the country at the 36° 30' parallel between the pro-slavery, agrarian South and anti-slavery, industrial North, creating an uneasy peace which lasted for three decades. This peace was shattered in 1854 by the Kansas-Nebraska Act. Settlers would decide if their state would be free or slave. Northern leaders such as Horace Greeley, Salmon Chase and Charles Sumner could not sit back and watch the flood of pro-slavery settlers cross the parallel. A new party was needed.

With the current flood of rhetoric and candidate bashing, it is a wonder that any everyday American who looks to the media for their news is able to make an informed decision.  Because a fight broke out at a rally, candidates’ opponents will accuse him of promoting violence.

We will never all agree, that is where representative government comes in.   It is our responsibility to go out and cast our vote, not just post our dislike for one another, use the power that our founding fathers gave us and cast your vote; not just this year, but also every year.

While we are at it, maybe we can learn a little tolerance and yes I support Medical Marijuana too!

Need to Create an Off the Beaten Path Map

I want to share this amazing place we found on New Years Eve.  My darling husband and I were traveling to North Carolina to visit my Father and stopped in Southern Virginia for the night.  Right off of I-95 in Petersburg Virginia we found a place to stay and set out for a place to eat dinner.

We had big plans to ring in the New Year at a local bar, but anyone who knows me knows that midnight is the name of a cat, not a time of day that I see on a regular basis.  I can admit it, I like my 8 hours of sleep so much that I try to get 10.

https://www.facebook.com/LighthouseRestaurantandbar

We found our way to a restaurant we found online called – the Light House.  The menu online looked great and was close enough for us to walk.  When we walked in the door, we did a double take.  It was a restaurant/bar that was not in any way as pretentious as it seemed online. 

The first thing we saw while waiting for the hostess to come seat us was a patron at the bar go face first onto the floor, with a blonde right on top of him.  We told the hostess, “we will eat at the bar. “ I was not going to miss any of this fun.

We had the most awesome dinner, fried shrimp and haddock that had to have been deep fried in what can only be described as seasoned oil; and a bartender/waitress that had the greatest southern accent.  When she asked me what I wanted to drink, I had to spell WATER since the way we pronounce it (wooder) was foreign to her down home ears. 

They treated us like we were regulars.  Everyone was friendly, open and ready to share a laugh or a story.  The greatest moment came when the DJ began playing a series of tunes such as, Lynrd Skynrd – Give me Back my Bullets and then Hank Williams Jr – I got Rights.  Each one was better than the last and only made the night more memorable.

I highly recommend you get off the beaten path and find a local gem, there is nothing like it.  If you make it down to the Light House, make sure you look for our dollar on the ceiling!

I may be Stupid, but 7 Days Into the New Year and I Haven't Quit Yet!

Who doesn’t begin a brand new year with resolutions and dreams of being a better person?  We all want to be thinner, richer, healthier, and happy, but how do we get there?

I have done the “workout” resolution for years.  Every year I say to myself, “self, you’re a fat ass, it’s time to get on the ball and lose some weight;” and every year I fail miserably because, well, chocolate and cheese.  The two greatest things ever discovered by man are the downfall to my self-control.  That and Chic Filet, but that’s another problem for another day.

If I were to take a real inventory of my being, it wouldn’t be that difficult to find those spots that need work.  I have been eating better, more to the benefit of my health than because of any resolution to enhance my vanity.  Eating better and exercising each day takes on a life of its own.  I won’t say that what I do is considered working out, because that would be a ridiculous overreach.

Finish What You Start

A good resolution to have might be for me to finish what I start.  I get all gung ho on some activity, diet or challenge and then realize that I never finished, leaving half sewed projects, half written books and half-baked foods for me to clean up..  

On that note, I am currently working on a 21 Day No Junk food Challenge, and so far, as of Day 3, I have been pretty good.  Here is what is not allowed:

• No Chocolate
• No Candy
• No Cake, Doughnuts or muffins
• No Pastries
• No White Bread
• No chips
• No Fast Food
• No Carbonated Beverages
• No Ice Cream

Who wants to join me and who wants to take bets on whether or not I can make it another 18 days?

Stop Being so Judgy and Gossipy

One thing that I have been working on for a looooooong time, is the “if you haven’t got anything nice to say rule.”  I seriously suck at this.  I mean well, I wake up every day and tell myself, “Self, don’t be such a bitch today.”  People aren’t perfect and it helps to remember that even if you can’t remember all of your transgressions, I can guarantee you that someone out there can.

Sharing other people’s bad decisions and poor judgement doesn’t make me look better, it makes me look smaller, personality wise that is, because if being petty was a diet, I would be back in a size 3.  This is what I really want to change this year.

I would be wrong to not admit that occasionally, just sometimes engaging in some light gossip is like a balm.  Like Aloe to my own personal burned self-perception.  It is because it feels so good that I need to not do it. 

Say You’re Sorry

Let me start 2016 by apologizing.  I really want to apologize to anyone that I owe an apology to that might not have received it from me.  I can state with 100% accuracy that I know each time I did someone wrong.  Many times it was unintentional and other times, it goes back to being a bitch.  Either way, I am sorry that my insecurities, my ego, my jealousies, or my stupidity made me behave offensively.

You should try it, it really feels good to let go and admit being wrong.  Every fight doesn’t have to be to the death, yes family members this means you too!  Every argument doesn’t have to end with silence and judgement.  Life is too short and I am too tired to keep that kind of negativity alive, so if the apology is what you are waiting for, here it is; delivered with sincerity and love.  Sometimes the answer really is a simple as “I am stupid and I am sorry."

Happy New Year to You!

A Mad Woman's Mad Holiday Recipe for Peace

Got a case of the Holiday Blahs?  Yep, so do many of us.  I have been giving this blahness some thought these past few days and I have determined that, at least for myself, I am in a self-induced Christmas brain fart.

Every year the Season of Giving begins earlier, dragging out the stress that inevitably comes from holiday festivities with any family. 

We are being conditioned from the very first holiday cartoon we watch that Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, or whatever you celebrate should be a magical and perfect experience.  The kind of experience where children play in the snow, without coming in and out of the house a million times, and can build a perfectly proportioned snowman, without fighting with their siblings, that comes to life with the magic of the season.

Who can compete with that?  Who can live up to that?

My memories of Christmas have been altered to make me think that I might really have had that Hallmark Movie Channel type of Christmas and if I am a half decent mother and wife, I will create this same type of memory for my own children. 

When I look back on the reality of Christmas Past, it was a mess.  Babies crying, dogs barking, sisters yelling, Dad hiding, and the overwhelming feeling of joy that I got to experience this madness with my parents and sisters.  It wasn’t a family holiday if someone didn’t storm out of the house or a few choice words didn’t fly.  That is what happens when you put all that Lithuanian/Irish passion in one room.  No one was ever permanently injured, so I call that success and family tradition.

In my own house, the day approaches with growing anxiety that I will disappoint my children with a Christmas that is less magical than the ones that they too are now conditioned to expect.  It is a vicious cycle that I am ready to stop riding.

As I came to the unconscious conclusion that I would never be able to bake like Betty Crocker or entertain like Martha Stewart, I began over compensating with Play Stations, computers and other material things.  This only created a new level of expectation that became impossible to meet.

When the children are young, toys are plentiful because the costs are relatively low.  As they grow bigger so do their wants, toys became computers, bikes became cars and Mom and dad had to work triple time trying to maintain the level of expectation and stay out of the poor house.

UNCLE…. I GIVE…. NO MORE PLEASE

The best advice I can give my children is to not look at what everyone else is doing, and look inside themselves.  What brings them joy?  Being with each other, eating Mom’s Breakfast Bake, a well thought out gift that someone has wanted or have mentioned that we took the time to remember?  These things are more valuable than we know, and we never really know it until we no longer have them.

 

Our sisters/brothers grow up and have families of their own; even our parents don’t remain the same.  My mother has been gone for fifteen years and my Dad now lives 700 miles below the Mason Dixon Line and doesn’t believe that northern winters should be experienced by anyone ever.  I miss those messy chaotic Christmas’ in my past.  I miss what my family was but am grateful for what we are now.

This Christmas I will make a conscious effort to not overly worry about everyone being happy with what I provide. Instead I consciously choose to smile, the kind that comes from deep in my heart and give with the sentiment that it is given with all the love that is in my heart.  I will consciously recognize that God blessed me with another Christmas with my family and another opportunity to make that messy memory.  That is what this season is about.

Merry Christmas to all of you and to your messy crazy families!

Count them... Count them all.

Sometimes, being thankful for what we have is hard, especially when we are faced with all that we have lost.  This isn’t a case of seeing the glass half full or half empty, it’s about the ache that we feel when we think about who we have lost, who will not be at our Thanksgiving table this year.

I am thankful that I have had the life that I have had.  I am thankful that as I approach 50 I have been given a second opportunity to live life the way that it should be lived.  I will forever be thankful that I have a friend in Brian who can respond to a call in under two minutes and save my life by simply being there and knowing the exact thing I needed to do at that moment.

As I go into this first Thanksgiving without backup from Jeanette, it brought me joy to know that because of her I have long ago stopped trying to be perfect in my delivery of the meal.  Stove Top is good enough, because it’s whom you are eating with not what you are eating that matters.  I haven’t had to face a holiday and all of its joys and stresses without her as a lifeline for years and for that I give thanks.

Today I am thankful that Jeanette was in my life for as long as she was, teaching me the importance of not caring if the assholes hate me.  Really why did I care what the assholes thought anyway?  I am thankful that I no longer have to carry the secrets of my life; the ones that make you feel less than enough, because she was my friend and carried them with her too.  I am thankful that even though I miss her everyday, she will never really be gone because I see her in her children, see her in her husband and hear her voice in my mind, telling me to suck it up and go make the gravy.  

Today I am thankful for my own family, in its current and real condition and scattered locations.  This will be the 15^th Thanksgiving without our mother, but her decorations and recipes will be on the table and she will be remembered and loved.  I am thankful that my Dad has happiness and love in his life, although distance makes it hard, knowing he is where he is meant to be is making me thankful.

Today I am thankful for my friends that bring me the colors of the world and make each day different and wonderful.  Each of them is different from the other and I am richer for having them allow me to be in their worlds. 

Today I am thankful for my husband and children who have shown me that everyone does not leave.  They have taught me more than I ever could have taught them about love and family.  To know that I had a hand in creating this fantastic group of people makes me the most thankful of all.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Count your blessings, they are many.

Beware the Elephant in the Room!

there are many layers to this onion... following are the ranting's of a rank and file Montgomery County Republican...

Isn’t this always the way, North versus South, Dog versus Cat, Republican versus Democrat.  It’s easy to see how conflict can unfold from such differing types.  The important thing has got to be how to have a difference of opinion and yet remain unwilling to destroy those that would think opposite of you.  Isn’t this what we have learned over the centuries of independence and freedom?

Turn your focus to our Grand Old Party, over time we seem to have found ourselves at yet another cross roads where we need to decide how we wish to define ourselves.  We brand ourselves the party of family values, fiscal restraint and conservative stewardship but then the same old conflict will arise and some of us will not be conservative enough, or agree that family values just may need to be re-examined to become more inclusive of the younger generational views.  

I have an idea, instead of having an “all in or all out” mentality, how about being more accepting of the reality that we are all different but support the general core traits that make us republican or maybe just maybe we need to be more accepting of each others goals and agendas and remember why the party system was created. I don’t think it matters what party you are with, if your presence and goals are in conflict with an others, there is an automatic reaction to line up supporters and work to discredit the other.  This is a normal activity for opposing parties, but when it continues to the environment that your political party operates in, with each other, it is headed to destruction.

I do not consider myself a political pundit, or even well read on every political issue out there, but along with being a Republican Committeewoman for ten years and working for a living, I have raised four children and I do consider myself well versed on how to get along and to work with opposing personalities.  So to my local party, before I toss in the towel and register independent, maybe these simple household rules (with some modification) could be useful in getting our party back on track.

1. The only person who is the “boss” of us is the voters we represent.  (Remember them?  The people who have the same values we represent.)

2. We don’t quit.  (my children have heard this in the form of – family is like herpes, we are forever.)  Then again, for the case of politics this might work too.

3. A team can only succeed when we all work together.  The main goal has got to be to win elections, regardless if the candidate was our first choice or not.  You cannot succeed when you take your ball and go home because you don’t like the people playing the game, be committed to success.

4. Communicate.  Have faith in the system and make sure you have the right leader in place, one that will be willing to hear all sides and open to finding a common ground.  

5. Stop finding something to be mad at.  If you want drama, join the local theater club.  Walking around, creating dissension or creating an environment that does not encourage open discourse should not be accepted by the rank and file.  In this case the squeaky wheel should never get the grease!

6. If you don’t like what's being served, find another restaurant.  In other words, take your bitterness and anger and take it outside of the party, keeping it alive and nurturing this type of emotion will only bring destruction of the party quicker.

The voters that I have spoken to want to be communicated with not talked at, and I don’t mean by a robo call.  They want to hear why they should elect a candidate.  They want to hear why one candidate is a better choice over another.  I remember a time when my committee person would send a letter to the people in their district and let them know who was running, for what position and why.  A direct and simple communication reminded us that it was time to get out and vote and back in the day we looked to our committee members to share information about the candidates. 

With the advent of Social Media, the avenues of communication change as quickly as the stories about the specific candidates.  Looking to the future is important, but maybe to get back on track we need to think a little old school at the same time.

Montgomery County Republicans, we have a leader, we elected him and we owe the party our continued support.  Lets take this time to figure out how to make sure that we stop doing the same thing over and over again, because that is surely not working and use what works and fix the rest.  Follow the rules of good government, good citizenship and for goodness sake, good manners.

I for one do not believe as Bruce Castor stated in the Intelligencer “Losing every single office… tells me Montgomery County has completely turned and the hope of recovery is slight.”  I believe that there is always an opportunity to prevail, especially when we take the time to communicate, work together and get our voters out on election day.  

Its time to look to the leadership we chose and ask them to lead.  What do you think?

The Good, The Bad, The Mundane

It’s a thick dark cloud that pushes you back down onto the ground, making it difficult to even lift your head, to take a breath or to get the slightest glimpse of sunlight.  It takes monumental strength to lift it up and away, or the patience to wait for it to disappear.  At one point or another, we have all felt this self-oppression.

Life is cyclical.  There are great moments, terrible moments and many mundane moments in between.  We live for the great moments.  We dream of how these moments will be when they happen and work hard to achieve them.  The terrible moments usually come without warning, sometimes taking our dreams and well laid plans with them.  These are the moments we never could have imagined, the moments we work so hard to forget.

The moments in between the great and the terrible are the core of our selves.  It is what makes us able to stand the terrible, achieve the great and recognize the wonderfulness of the monotony that makes up our day-to-day lives. 

Each dinnertime conversation with our children becomes a series of memories that they build upon.  A simple daily routine of homework, talking about the day and a good night kiss can create the foundation that we need to have the strength to survive the terrible and achieve the great.  No one ever thinks that these simple rituals, these minor conversations will have the impact that they do when the time comes to look back and inventory our lives.

Live fully in the moment, because it will be these moments that sustain you when the terrible inevitably comes around.