The Cost of Changing Your Perception

How many times have we heard, "Can't we all just get along?"  Some people really mean it when they ask that question, others just want you to agree with their way of thinking.  Once you change to their way thinking, there is sudden harmony.  But at what cost, and is that price worth paying for peace in your life?

Take a look at this picture.  Don't these three dogs look like they are having some fun along the fence?

Would you be surprised if I told you that the two chihuahua's go to the fence line daily to start stuff with the bigger golden doodle and what this picture really depicted was an uneven dog fight?

 The two chi's don't find anything wrong with ganging up on this sweet older larger dog.  They feel entitled. They take their size and factor it into their decision to gang up and go after him for just living his life differently from them on his side of the fence.

But how do you teach these guys to get along.  Is it any easier to teach people to get along?  For the record those sweet little chi's with all of their bad behavior and bluster belong to me.

I work in an industry where being adversarial can be considered a valuable asset.  Find that thing about your opponent that you can expose to show the flaw in their character to in turn promote the one you support.  Yea, it's as soul eating as it sounds.  After a while, you start to search for the good in your opponent, because not everyone can really be that bad.

Fortunately for the past number of years I have been fortunate to work with a public official who doesn't believe in politics as usual.  Thank goodness, or I would have burned out long ago.

So how do you find common ground with someone who feels your ideas are not worthy of understanding?  Let's use the dogs as an example again, how do we get them to stop barking at each other long enough to take a break and sniff their neighbor.  The truth is that they have been barking at the fence line for years.  They bark at each other, pee on each other, steal each others balls if given the chance and I can only imagine what would happen if they found themselves on the same side of the fence.

Eventually they have to get tired right?  Can they find a place in their own hearts that just can't fight any further?  Can they just learn to get along?  Maybe they just need to find a common objective; like a cat or wayward possum to chase together.

I found my own political possum last night with a democrat friend of mine.  Yes, I am a Republican and have a Democrat friend.  I have quite a few actually, but I won't out them so that they won't be embarrassed by being connected to me!

So while I was watching the GOP debate last night, I got a text from one of these Dem Friends.  Turns out they find Donald Trump as interesting as I do.  Maybe not interesting like a History class but interesting like a Roast on Comedy Central or somewhere in between.

As we exchanged our favorite Donald Trump quotes of the night it came to light that we each had a mutual dislike of a political possum that we would forever refer to as Ramen Noodles.

She is a Democrat.  I am a Republican.  We are as far apart politically as a small and large dog are on opposite sides of the fence, but look at that, we can still keep talking and sharing our opinions and beliefs.

You just have to have ground rules and respect the rules.  Kind of like the fence.  My number one rule with this friend is to never bash Hillary in her presence unless I am ready to debate into the late hours of the night.  I can do it, I like to do it, but the cost is just too high and our friendship is more important.

She has a right to her opinion and I have a right to my vote.  So tell me, what does it cost us to find a common cause and work together to resolve the discomfort that makes us hesitate to change our perception of our opponents?

Everyone has been faced with this problem, its not just politics.  So share with me, who is your political possum and could you find a way to get along?